life's wonders (the good to the bad to the good)

um..so i was supposed to write a blog about my experiences the past 3 days and how boredom has finally slipped away from me, but then this whole thing comes along. as my lola said, "mahirap ang panahon ngayon eh." but i wonder, do we really deserve this kind of fortune and pain? what have we done to merit such bad luck? is it destiny that brought us to this situation? i guess those questions would never be answered.

oh whatever. anyway, i'm just going to briefly state what happened the previous days that made me ever so happy- a feeling i have forgotten ever so suddenly in a span of 5 minutes. last monday, i got out of the house again. i had a chance to go out and meet my friends in town to just relax and watch a movie, maybe to catch up on news in the past few weeks. chio, gliza, and i watched miss congeniality 2, with me watching it for the 2nd time. it was nice-again. i liked the first movie better though. gliza left, and we met up with rodney to just stroll around until we got to starbucks and hanged out there for a while. i had my choco frap and corn beef pandesal. johann arrived and we talked for a while until chio had to leave. he left, leaving us three to go to powerbooks. johann left soon afterwards and rodney gave me this anne rice book to read. haha. basically that was it, i went with my mom afterwards then went home soon thereafter. tuesday, i went to francis' house in the morning and we watched some channels in tv. mark brought the ps2 and we played tekken 5 and nba 2005. at the course of the best day of the summer, we played basketball in fran's backyard and just ate. it was fun and good to be exercising muscles again. basically that was it. i would've told you guys more about this great day but i just can't take my mind off today's events. anyway, today started with me going with my mom to school. i just stayed in school for a while while waiting for fran and mark. francis came and we went to get our clearances signed. thankfully, all of us were given clearance by sir delos santos even though our hair was unprepared for the test. we then came to town early and strolled around, waiting for the proposed movie we were going to watch later on in the day. we ate in the foodcourt, then strolled around again until we got to 1:15 pm.

this is the story. at 1:15 pm, i proposed to my classmates that we go inside powerbooks. they refused, and so we walked towards bizu. after talking about the high prices of food in dulcinea, some guy approaches us from behind and tells us that he is a member of a frat. he tells us that we don't have to join or anything and that this is merely a help to him since they have points for something..(drifting off, i didn't really listen much thinking that mark and francis knew what he was talking about). at that moment, i felt weird, and i wanted to get away as quickly as possible. little did i know it was FAR from over. he then instructs us to join him to mount mcdo to do the specific task (i dont know what damn it.) there. the other guys agree so i am forced to follow the guy reluctantly, sensing a great deal of danger in my gut. as we were walking, the guy was continually asking me if i was okay, probably sensing that i was reluctant to join him. i wanted to have a private conversation with my classmates to tell them what i felt, but it wasn't possible. i stayed away from the guy, feeling that if by any chance once we get out of town and kidnappers run towards us, i would have a headstart fleeing away. once we get outside, we meet another guy, another "neophyte" (which i don't think they are now) and they tell us to go inside mt. mcdo. at that point, i sense the reluctancy of all of us not to go inside for bad things might occur. we say no, but we're forced inside. they offer us drinks, we say no again, and yet they give us drinks. at that precise moment my heart was racing. how come they gave us drinks for free? i didn't believe that they were that good, expecting nothing in return-and sure enough, they weren't. their adviser talked to us about their frat's situation, about an event that happened to them a week ago (i, again, wasn't able to pick up/understand what they were saying. i thought mark and francis knew. so then they tell us this thing i never did understand, and said that mark and francis should go someplace to meet some people there, and then go back. they say that they'll have to leave their things to the guardkeeper, me, then i'd follow. they left me alone with some 5 guys, and there, i started to panic and get goosebumps all over. i kept on thinking if i should run or scream or call someone, but then they spoke so fast, i couldn't keep up. they told me to give all the phones, including mine, and all the wallets and watches to the other "guy", who they said was also like one of us, just someone they picked from the street to guard our things while we were away. I NEVER REALIZED THAT THIS WOULD BE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I WOULD MAKE. out of desperation to join mark and francis again, i do as i am told and go outside to "meet" the said people i would meet. they told me to go back to where we got picked up and meet people there. they said they couldn't come with me. then i realized, everything was gone. it was like brainwash. you never knew it was going to happen until it did. my nack of letting people boss me around got to me. our search efforts came up empty, of course, with no traces of any of them. it was like one of those news on tv, where someone would get tricked by these scammers and you'd say, "oh how stupid, if that were me, i would have never let them do that!" i guess i got my share of this today. my overwhelming trust in people was quickly shattered. now i don't think i'll ever trust anyone with my things anymore. i know the whole thing sounds stupid, that we were tanga and everything, and yes, i agree on many points. we agreed to join him in the first place, to an area of easy access on the roads, and believed everything they said. inexperience got to us. i thought that by pure wisdom, i would nail anyone trying to do this to us, but no, today, that didn't happen. maybe our brains turned off, or we were just ignorant of the things that were about to unfold right before our very eyes. stupidity.

i feel as if it was my fault that everything got lost. i didn't follow what my heart and guts and brains said to me, and i didn't do anything. i didn't realize what was going on until it was done. but most of all, i agreed to go with the ******* guy in the first place. i feel so guilty. i felt like i let down my friends, i lost all my pride, and most of all, i let down my parents, who always trusted me. i swore never to lose anything again after i lost my wallet in third grade. i feel so sad about letting them down. damn it. i promised myself in the past that i would NEVER EVER get into one of these situations, but no, not even the best of your preparedness could help you here. i just wish i could have done something to prevent this. grrr. to fran and mark: i'm sorry for following their orders in mt. mcdo. the only reason i did this was because of my panic and nervousness being alone with these unknown people. on the other hand, i'm thankful it didn't get worse. i never got kidnapped or hurt. i'm glad that they didn't gang up on me inside. i'm just thankful that i'm still here, blogging about this event.

i just can't believe this. probably, the reason why i am actually able to blog right now under these circumstances is because the matter hasn't fully dawned on me yet. oh, but it's most probably becuase i feel so relieved that i wasn't kidnapped or hurt during the event. i could only feel happiness that i am safe now, at home, with no one attempting to steal or hurt me in anyway. the sense of security at home is unbelievable. i just fear what would have happened if i had been kidnapped. what would happen to me? how would my family members react? and if i had been killed (God forbid) during the event, i wouldn't have expressed any of my last thoughts on how i felt to anyone i loved. my parents, siblings, family members, classmates, friends, to all i know, and her. that would have been the worst way to end one's life.

i told my mom what happened as soon as it did. i borrowed manda's phone and called her up, telling her what happened. i also had a long discussion with my driver about this. i realized every mistake i did. i analyzed everything i lost, and it summed up to about P10,000 pesos from the watch, the wallet, and cellphone. i also lost all my quotes, and special messages. and of course, i lost my pride along the way. i don't think my mom is angry at me, or maybe, not too much. i told her i realized everything and that i was stupid, and that i did not do everything i was supposed to do when things like these happen. this comes 2 days shy of the april 1 party here. i wish mark and francis could still come. how i wish we had only entered powerbooks, everything would have turned out different. but i guess that's life, you just got to deal with the punches.

i hate them so much. (the robbers) i hope they get what they deserve. why can't they be the ones killed in the tsunami? hmm. oh well. i guess God has a plan for each and one of us. this probably reminds us of how we should value every single thing in our life, and be thankful that we are still alive today. this is a learning lesson or experience for each and every one of us never to fall into the same trap ever again. also, we should learn to realize that nothing is permanent in this world, especially because i save every meaningful message i have in my cellphone, all the quotes i had wished to send in the future, probably on her birthday or the next valentines day, where i would probably may her know how much i like her. i also saved there every message i thought were special that came from her. i never wanted to give up my cellphone to anyone, not even my siblings. i guess that serves as a lesson, that the past is nothing, and what we have is the present. whatever we do now, that is the important thing. love isn't about keeping messages or sending quotes, it's different. once again, the power of prayer is the only weapon we have against these things. even if these unlucky or bad things happen to us, we should not be angry on God. he means only the best for us, and probably made us experience this event to learn from it and move on as better persons. so i give my thanks to God for giving me these lessons in life, and i'll move on and be a better person. lastly, we should tell everyone we love that we love them every single day. we never know when our time is up in this world.

to everyone i know, don't text or call me using my old number anymore. it's obviously not going to help you. oh, and for questions on the upcoming trip here, just email me or something. thank you for your understanding. i hope you all have a good day.

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes