paranoia

hello again. i'm just posting right now because i've realized that i would not be online probably until sunday or something. that's because i'm going out of the house again, finally. i wasn't able to go anywhere from monday until now, spanning the events of the lsyc retreat, the tagaytay outing, and some other various events. i would want to go to the next tagaytay meeting though. bea, could i join the 2nd batch? hehe. so anyway, i've been stuck at home all this time once again, so imagine what i've been doing to pass the time by.

the television has been my favorite tool to get out of boredom these days. sometimes the computer and being online just does not suffice your boredom. that's because over the past few days, practically no one has been online, with everyone of my supposed-to-be chatmates going to other places as i've mentioned earlier. with nothing to do with the computer after blog hopping, checking out news articles, checking out some sites featuring f1, nba, and neopets, i resort to the television. lately my addictions have been to stick to the nba games on tv, watch american idol and the amazing race every week, and most recently watching the tv series lost on axn. of course, my week-long activity of watching cnn for updates on the events in vatican hasn't stopped. in fact, i'm watching cnn right now. lol. there come times where there are no good shows on tv, and i am forced to watch dvd's or use the play station 2. i've been watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s. dvds nonstop the past few days, and in fact, the past few weeks. what can i say? it's my favorite tv show of all time. haha. as for the ps2, i'm still playing nfsu2 and trying desperately to finish it as soon as possible so i could move on to finishing it. haha, i've been desperate to finish these games, for they're all just borrowed from different people. i don't have these games in actuality, even though i've wanted them for so long. that's because there is no store nearby which sells ps2 games. in relation to this, i also have no new music in my pc lately, for i've been too lazy to download them. haha, i don't want anymore viruses in my computer now that rodney has swept my incredifind one.

so anyway, nikko smith (spl) just got out of american idol today. he got the least number of votes. but as they said, everybody left has surely got a record contract anyway because of their talent, so being eliminated now isn't that bad. you got the experience of your lifetime, and at the same time, you got a record contract. isn't that just grand? in the amazing race, meanwhile, rob and amber are still there. in fact, they're in first place yet again. it just amazes me how their craft and wit, plus a lot of luck has brought them this far into the race. i wonder where they get all that luck though. haha. anyway, i watched MY first episode of lost a while ago, and i agree with my classmates and some of my friends in saying that it is a great series. i expect to be including it in my weekly tv schedule, as well as csi new york. i never really got excited over csi before, but now that it's summer, i got a chance to watch csi new york yesterday, and i liked it. my classmates are once again true, it is a great series with which you could learn a lot from. so there's my tv addiction right there for you guys.

this summer, i think i'd be taking badminton lessons again along with my siblings out in la salle canlubang. it's near our place and stuff. the lessons start april 18 i think. this is good since i could stretch my muscles again and not just grow and grow, making my weight problem worse. haha. oh, and we're going to subic tomorrow. we're going to white rock i think, where we'll spend the night. i hope to at least see a glimpse of the ilc though, as some of my classmates would be there. i know it isn't likely, but still, anything's possible. at last, i'll be in a beach again. it's been a long while since i last swam with those jellyfishes and swam in salty water. lol. i miss that feeling, especially when i saw our family photo albums when my classmates came over. it made me nostalgic about my experiences as a young kid.

tomorrow's the pope's funeral. sadly, i don't think i would be able to see the actual event since i'd probably be on the road to subic at the time. but anyway, like gliza said, everything's not the same without him. i never imagined the pope to die while i was still alive, so this is an entirely weird feeling engulfing me. but God has his plan, and i thank God for everything that has happened, be it good or bad. may the pope's soul rest in peace in heaven. we'll miss you.

paranoia. every summer because of boredom, i start to hallucinate and think of weird things happening to me. about 6 or 7 summers before, i loved to read reader's digest. i read about all these diseases that you could get, and the bad effects it had on people. then i thought that i had gotten these diseases. because of me being paranoid, i had myself go to the doctor, had ecg testing, blood testing, and all these other tests to confirm if i was still a healthy boy. you see, i get paranoid easily, even when i'm in school, and it often leads to trouble. now when times when your mind is idle, like summer, my mind easily thinks of outrageous stuff happening to me, like the people who stole my stuff coming to my house, people i love getting injured, and stuff lingering in my head. it's really annoying because it makes me very panicky and it makes me have more stress leading to more pimples. lol. i just wish it wouldn't be like this for long. let the paranoia go away. whee.

tomorrow is report card distribution day. i had previously much anticipated that moment in time, where i would finally receive my card and see my grades, but much of that hype has gone away now that summer is in full blast. still, i hope to see good grades on that sheet of paper tomorrow. *crosses fingers*. oh, but there are other things to be concerned about tomorrow, as far as i'm concerned. i just had a haircut a while ago, following my parents' advice to change my hairstyle. it's on its' transitional phase, which means that it's not good yet (at all). aaah, i hope it isn't that bad that my classmates and/or friends would laugh at me once they see it tomorrow. lol. but i guess there would only be a few people in school by the time i'm there since i'd be arriving at 8 sharp. haha.

we could never be perfect, but we just have to move on despite our impurities and imperfections. they should never be a reason for us to give up our dreams.
-revised statement of scott savol, american idol 4 finalist